


Sixteen Made To Order Dildos

by BeaRyan



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Comedy, Dildos, F/M, Gen, fill in fic, lowbrow adult comedy, ring years
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-21
Updated: 2019-11-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 21:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21515584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeaRyan/pseuds/BeaRyan
Summary: The women of Spacekru are a sisterhood of creative problem solvers.  And also drunk.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Echo, Emori/John Murphy (The 100), Monty Green/Harper McIntyre, Spacekru - Relationship
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Sixteen Made To Order Dildos

Harper’s twisted yoga-like position lost to gravity, much to the amusement of Raven, Emori, and Echo. It took a moment for the laughter to subside enough for her to speak. “And then Monty said next time we should use less lube.” 

Laughter swept through them again, Raven’s sounding just a touch sharper than the others. Harper laid a concerned hand on her shoulder. “Are you doing OK?” 

“I’m fine,” Raven promised. With a pointed look at Echo she said, “No need to borrow a cock, I promise.”

That had been the focus of last week’s discussion. Azgeda didn’t conflate fidelity and monogamy. Skaikru did. It had been meant as a kindness, but telling her sister it would be fine if she and your man wanted to take a moment together had touched down like lightning. Not wanting another round of the same, Echo took control of the conversation. “You do have a stick, don’t you?”

“A stick?” Raven asked. “Like from a tree? Wood?” 

“It can be wood, sometimes stone.” 

Emori translated. “She means a dildo. Do you have a dildo, Raven?” 

Raven blinked then focused on Echo. “Wood? You put wood in your vagina?”

“Carved and polished wood, yes. You have a word for it, so you know what it is and why a person would want one. What are yours made from?” 

Raven said, “I only have one. I 3D printed it a while ago from plastic, so you don’t need to worry about me. I’m covered.” 

Harper’s request was made quietly, and she didn’t make eye contact. The mismatched libidos in room four weren’t something Monty wanted discussed outside the room. “Can you print one for me?” 

“I can,” Raven said. “Right now. Bring the wine.” 

Echo grabbed the jug of wine, Emori grabbed Harper’s hand, and Raven led the parade from the community room to the machine shop. She stopped in front of one of the machines, punched a few buttons. “The basic shape is already programmed. How long and wide do you want it?” 

“I get to order a custom cock? I’ve never considered -”

“Liar,” Echo interrupted. 

Harper shrugged. “It might have crossed my mind.” She grinned then asked, “So do I tell you the circumference of the shaft or the head? Or diameter? I’ve never really measured -”

Echo nudged Harper with her shoulder. “Liar.” 

Harper blushed but didn’t deny it. “Is it insulting to Monty to ask for a little more than what he has?”

Raven shrugged. “His ego should be fine. It’s just a plastic shaft. It’ll get the job done, but there’s no mistaking it for the real thing.” 

Echo held up a thin knife seemingly produced from thin air. “I can carve it for you. It’s better with a more textured surface.” 

“Texture leads to friction. If you texture it you either need lube or you’ll be in pain afterwards.” 

Echo slipped the knife back into her boot and held up two slightly crooked fingers. “This sort of texture. The bend. The roughness of the fingers and the knuckles.”

Emori grabber her by the wrist and pulled Echo’s hand closer. “You have ridiculously long fingers.” She sized up her friend, considering something for the first time. “Your girlfriend must have been very happy.” 

“She said she was.” 

Emori took Echo by the wrist and tugged her across the room to a clear box with silver strips of lights mounted along the edges. She positioned Echo’s hand inside and nudged Raven out of the way at the attached computer. A 3D image of Echo’s hand appeared on screen. “Now crook your fingers the way you did before and I’ll save and print the image.” 

Echo did as asked, but she couldn’t keep from teasing Emori a little. “You’re going to use my method as a study aid for Murphy?” 

“I’m going to 3D print your hand and Raven’s model dildo and give John a night he’ll never forget.” 

The burst of laughter in response carried down the hallway, drawing Murphy, Bellamy, and Monty’s attention away from their card game. Bellamy asked, “Think we want to know what that’s about?”

Monty shuddered. “Probably not. Harper’s always wound up when she comes back from girl’s night.”

“Wound up how?” Murphy asked. 

There was another burst of loud laughter and the unmistakable sound of Harper trying to chastise Emori despite being impressed. “You can’t just DO that.” 

“I can. I think I can. I’m definitely going to try.” 

“What will Murphy say?” 

“Only one way to find out.” Emori’s voice, louder and closer, carried down the hallway as she sang out, “John. I need you.” 

The other girls laughed and Raven could be heard asking, “Are you sure?” 

“Fold.” Murphy tossed his cards on the table and moved towards the door with a glance back over his shoulder. 

Bellamy copied the motion. 

Reluctantly Monty stood up and slowly followed them down the hallway. He loved the women of the ring - he did - but together, especially when drinking, they could be a bit much. Still, he wasn’t prepared for what he found when he entered the room. Emori was the center of attention. Raven knelt in front of her and Echo was positioned behind her as they adjusted some kind of belt. When Raven was finally satisfied, she stood up and Monty got his first look at the monstrosity. Where a cock might have been if Emori were differently equipped and not wearing pants, a hand reached for him. The only word he could manage was, “Why?” 

Emori shrugged and her third hand bobbed. “We’re upgrading Raven’s dildo.” 

Bellamy laughed. “I know you think that’s an explanation, but it’s not.”

“What else do you need to know?”

“Whose hand is that?” 

Echo sipped her wine casually. He liked to think he knew everything about everyone, about her. She could still surprise him. “Mine. I do whatever I can for those I love.” 

Bellamy caught her in a hug and whispered, “At least you didn’t volunteer me this time.” 

“Raven, if you want to use Bellamy’s cock it’s still fine with me.” 

Raven laughed and pointed at the lightbox. “Get it up and get it in there.” 

Bellamy pulled back briefly but quickly recovered. “You know I’d do anything for you-” 

Emori cut in. “You, too, John. ALL the cocks. I want all the cocks.” 

Murphy’s eyes darted around the room. He was too sober for this, and the girls were too drunk. “Orgy. Great. Fun.”

Raven clarified. “In plastic, right, Emori? You want them all scanned and printed?” 

Harper clapped her hands. “This is so fun! Monty please! Please!” 

“You want to scan my penis and give copies to our friends?” 

Harper’s face was always expressive, but drunk her moodswings transmitted with the force they wished the radio had. “It’s a good cock Monty. You should be proud to share it.” She stepped forward, leading with a hand targeted on his zipper, and Monty stepped away.

Emori waggled her hips at them, sending her new appendage flapping. “Need a hand getting your man prepped?” 

Bellamy doubled over with laughter. They were all insane, even Echo, especially Emori, and after lives marked by deprivation this sort of idiotic excess was a welcome change. He could come up with a use for extra cocks in the bedroom, especially if he didn’t have to look their owners in the eye over breakfast. “Raven, can you adjust them so none of them are actually our cocks? Give us a little privacy? Artistically inspired by us but not… invasive?”

Raven bobbed her head back and forth, thinking, then turned to face her computer and started pressing keys. 

Echo whispered, “It’s going to be invasive.” 

“Behave,” he admonished. “I’m trying to make something happen here.” 

“Monty will never go for it.”

“What if he does?” She ran her hand along his waist and over the curve of his ass. “Whose cock should I fuck you with first?” Echo leaned against him and pressed a soft kiss to his cheek. “I’ll be gentle until you ask me not to be.” 

Bellamy’s heart pounded. If he wanted Echo to teach him that lesson he needed to apply one she’d been trying to drill into him since they got to the Ring. Shut up and let other people think. Don’t fight until there’s no other option. 

In their own huddle Murphy toyed with Emori’s new hand which was still tethered to her hips Monty and Harper whispered intently, but her drunken pleading and his patient forbearance were clear even if their words weren’t. 

Raven turned away from the computer to face them. “I have set the machine to record the measurements of cocks A through Z. Only you will know which letter you choose to correlate with your scan. When printing a cock, specify what letter you want and what length. The rest of the measurements will be scaled to that.” 

“Why A through K?” Murphy asked. 

“Because if you mess up one or if you want to do one with balls and one without I’m not coming back in to create new files.” She plopped a spray bottle and a towel on the counter. “And clean the scanner when you’re done.” 

Harper’s whine was the first and loudest response. “PLEASE Monty? Pretty please. Two of you would be twice as nice, and you can get a break sometimes.” 

“Fine,” he said.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, everybody out. Let’s get it over with.” 

The novelty of made to order dildos caused much giggling over the next two weeks, but by the third week 3D printer material was becoming scarce and Raven asked everyone to pick a favorite cock or two and turn in the rest for recycling. 

Murphy stared at her over his bowl of algae, eager to contemplate mischief instead of the mouthful of goo he was about to choke down. “The plastic can be infinitely recycled, right, and we aren’t in crisis yet?” 

Raven nodded. “I’m just planning ahead. When we need it we’ll need it fast, and we’ve been a little indulgent.” 

“But as long as you can find it when you need it then there’s no problem.” 

“I’m not going to go digging under your bed when I need to print an airlock seal.”

“Understood.” 

The next day the rest of them understood, too. In the event of a recycling emergency they’d know exactly where to find Murphy and Emori’s excess dildos. They’d 3D printed a chess set of cocks for the game shelf in the common room. Naturally Murphy was king.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are appreciated.


End file.
